A blog about really becoming a doctor. After clinical rotations, graduation and then that first year (and second one) I am now no longer a 'junior doctor'. No more rookie status, but pretty much still a novice.
Now it's time for the future: specialist training! I want to become a General Practitioner.
Friday, 6 September 2013
Starting night shifts again
Due to -in short- me having been emotionally and physically exhausted due to stress in any imaginable way possible in the 2 years since graduation I was taken off nights. This exhaustion went far beyond what normal doctors experience. The goal was to prevent me slipping into another major depression; and that goal was reached. I am fine.
So I am to try night shifts again. I don't have the same resilience I once had, and I won't be able to handle the 'standard' 4 a month. Risk is too high, especially now that my asthma is another factor to take into account. I can't afford any 'post night shift colds' because the common cold triggers my asthma too much.
And I am nervous. The first will be on Monday. I live in the city centre, there's no way I'll be catching a good day's sleep. I know I'll be fine really. It's just that nighs are so long. I get so much more done during daytime if there are no patients, and I am less focused during the nights when there are patients. When I mention that I don't like nights, I usually get a response 'but... isn't it kind of cool, the city sleeping, the atmosphere of the night, feeling like superheroes?'. Well, if I want that feeling, I can set my alarm at 3:30AM and go for a bike ride, and then go back to bed.
I'm still trying to recover from the hours spent laying awake because of noise problems this week; last night was the second night I had a good nights sleep. It's kind of like having a baby, living in this house, you never know when it will keep you awake. But then without the oxytocin release, without the cuddles, and without the option of kicking Daddy out of bed because it's his turn to make the noise stop. Oh, and without the noise actually stopping. (I WILL be kicking Daddy out because it's his turn if I have a baby).